Safe in His Embrace

I can't control any part of my future. And for some reason, that really bothers me. I want to know, will my grades turn out ok? Will this relationship work? Will this person forgive me? Will my family be safe? Will I find the right job after I graduate? Will I finally find a place where I feel like I belong, a place where I am 100% sure that God wants me?
Trust Me, God says.
But I shake my head. "What will you do with my life if I give it to You, if I trust You completely? Will You take all my hopes and dreams and throw them away?"
Seek Me, He replies.
I step back. "I am no good. You see all this sin in my heart? I judge and I worry and I say things I shouldn't and think things I shouldn't and all the while You want me?"
Open up to Me, He responds.
I place my head in my hands. "There's so much to say; what if I do tell You? What if I do trust You? Will you take it all away? I want You to have the fear, the pain, the regret, the shame, the confusion, the sadness and the worry. But what about my dreams? Will You take those away too?"
Who gave you those hopes and dreams? If they are real, and if they are good, then why be afraid that I will take them away? I do not punish those who put their trust in Me; I love them. Certainly there is a time for growth, and you cannot become strong without learning what's like to fall. Yet I made you. Designed you. Love you with a love more strong and real than any you could dare to hope for. I let my Son die for you, to save you. I will be there to catch you when you fall, to help you up so that when you try again, you'll be holding onto My hand, and not your own. You are afraid, because you do not trust Me. You are in pain because you do not put your hope in Me. You have regret because you won't let Me take your shame. You are confused because you follow your own knowledge when My wisdom is all you need. You have sadness, because you won't let Me heal your pain. And you worry because you won't cast your burden on Me.
You are understanding who I've made you to be. You are accepting that and are becoming excited about what you can do; they are your passions, passions I have placed on your heart. But you must place them before Me and trust Me. Allow Me to guide you and I promise I will bless you.

I am scared about the future. Nervous, anxious. Worried. It's as if I'm telling God, "You, You Who made me. I can't trust You. You created life, existence, and I'd rather trust myself than You, the the Savior of the world."

Do not put your hope in humans. We are all sinners and will hurt and disappoint. But God, God will never let us down. No matter how much the world around us seems to crumble, He says, you are safe in My embrace.

I'm not a good person. I'm most definitely not a great one. I probably never will be. But I am a saved one.

"I don't remember much, but I can remember two things: I am a great sinner and Christ is a great Savior." -Amazing Grace

Amen.

Forgive me, Lord, for going astray.